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#1 |
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Retired Staff
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Ryce's Guide For Men: Women And Relationships
This is information that I have learned throughout my experiences and observations. Whether you're new to a relationship or have been experienced, hopefully this will help you understand or remind you of what really goes down. Relationships aren't easy, nothing about it is. But maybe this guide can make it one step easier for you. Section A - Intro: General Information I. Change of Times - Customaries I'm sure you've heard these before: - The man is supposed to pay. - The man has to make the first move. - Men are monsters. Well you know what? This was only back in our parents' time. Times have changed. Relationships are a whole new ballpark now, kids. With our society being the way it is, everyone does have to be to each their own. It's so sick how women still live in the past customaries and still expect males to pay for everything. It's rare that you get a girl who understands that money is tight now days, especially with inflation, minimum wage, and gas prices jacking up to the next dollar. I'm not saying it's wrong to pay for them now and then, but if a girl is going to expect you to pay for everything all the time, the only thing they're after is your money. It's true, folks....it's in their nature to be gold-diggers. Women are possessive, controlling, and sometimes even obsessive. They don't try to be, but they just are without realizing it. It's our job to make them realize it themselves and put them in their place. Not trying to sound mean, but if we don't, then we're never going to be happy without ourselves because we're so stuck on trying to make the women happy. Men used to be the aggressors, but now it seems that the roles are switched. 9 out of 10 cheating incidents, the male is the victim now days. It's sad what this world is coming to. I'm not trying to be sexist or anything, but it seems that the girl wants to be in control now. Girls are the flirtatious ones, the more dramatic, gossipy, etc. - This is just the way of the world now, and it's out job to adapt and not take it, but to handle it in a certain way. II. It's All About Us, First. We need to be happy first, before we can be happy with somebody else. Men, it's important that you get yourself situated before you get involved with someone else. Before you consider dating a girl, let them know what you're all about. If they really do like you, they won't care about what you do and all that jazz. Many people rush into relationships and find out about the person while in the relationship. That's not healthy. It just causes more confusion and more tension within. Plus, it makes the break-up more harsh and painful. III. Friendship Always Comes First. "We're too good of friends." "I just don't want to ruin our friendship." I'm sure we've all heard it before. Girls will always pull out the superficial "friend excuse" because of their fear of a relationship. We won't know if that's how they really feel, or if it's because of fear. However, being friends with a girl first is always your best bet. The chances of a relationship with that person is a lot lower, but in time somebody will come to you. It's all about patience. It's best to date a friend in the long-run because you know what they're all about. You know their emotions, actions, and how to handle them. You know what cheers them up, and how to push their buttons, etc. IV. Picking A Good Girl Tough subject. Every girl is different and has a new personality. Many people say they want a girl with common ground, and that's okay. But that doesn't mean someone who is too different isn't going to match. There is no such thing as too different. If two people really like eachother, then they can make anything work. Before deciding whether you want to pursue this chick or not. See what she's like in different environments. Ask her to hang out with you and your friends, hang out with her and her friends, go out to eat, go to parties. Get to know all the sides of her. Let that interpret your decision, including what you already know. You could have a girl be a complete sweetheart with you alone, then at a party she will transform into some hideous wildebeast. That's not cool....choose somewhat wisely. Section B - Obtaining a Female Specimen I. "What Do I Do? What Do I Say?! Help Meeee!" **slap!** Calm down, brother. Relax, take a deep breath, and chill. This all depends on how well you know the girl. I actually have a better chance talking to girls that I'm already friends with. It's the comfort level that speaks within me. Anyway, just start out how you would usually talk to them; a simple 'hello', how the day is going, what's new etc. - Just have some small talk. Depending on your subject, try to think of something you'd like to do with that person. Let's say, this girl is talking about a movie she likes or wants to see. Maybe offer the two of you to go together casually. Just use your own judgement, I know men aren't all that stupid. "What if I don't know her at all?" Get the girl when she's alone. Let's say there's a girl you see regularly at work or something. It all starts out with a simple "hello." I'll give you some personal experience here. There's a girl that comes into my work place every week. Start out with the "Hi, how are you today?" and then start up some small talk. Maybe ask, "Do you come here often? It seems like I see you every week." and if she's friendly, then awesome. If she's a total bitch, forget it. Don't ask anything yet. Just be cool, casual....and say "Well, it's nice talking to you. I'm sure I'll see you around." after your small conversation. When comes around to the next time you her, it's a lot easier to say something to her, because you already had the last time. Again, small talk....ask what's new with her. And repeat the closing line after you're done talking. If the third comes around, you know....joke about something. Like "Wow, it seems like I see you all the time now." and maybe have a little laugh. Girls like a guy with a sense of humor. If one says they don't, it's bullshit. Again, small talk....and slip in the question. Here's what I did, "Well hey, I see you often and it's always a joy talking to you. You think maybe you'd like to go out for a movie or something sometime?" - Just Go For It! I know this process takes awhile, but patience is the key. If you waited that long and didn't make a move, then what the hell am I giving advice for? Seriously. Any other questions.....just ask. II. "There's this girl that likes me, but I'm not sure if I like her or not." If you know for a fact that a girl likes you, it'll be easy for you. It's always a great feeling to know that you're liked. Go out on a date with her or at least hang out once. At least give her a chance. Heck, sometimes you may end up liking her. It's true....people like those who like them. Unless if you totally don't like this girl at all, then don't do anything. What's one date going to hurt? You need to be open and see what's out there. It's impossible to find what you want right off the bat, but sometimes if you don't take the chance you could miss something good that's been in front of you the whole time. III. When It Comes Down To It..... Men, don't get soft. It's our nature to be aggressive, don't let a girl bring you down. With the advice given so far, it seems like a pussy way, but it's actually more or less a more proper way. Sometimes proper doesn't always work and we just need to step up and be a man about things. Girls dig a guy with confidence. Sometimes simply going up to a girl and just asking them out can sometimes work, also. Life's too short to back down all the time. It's all about risks, taking chances....you have nothing to lose really if you think about it. I always tell people, "The missed opportunities in life are the ones you don't attempt." - Let that be your guide. Section C - In A Relationship I. Levels Of A Relationship If you're new to this relationship, you will encounter certain levels. This isn't completely accurate because it varies, but this is the most common outline for most long-term relationships. - Casual Dating - Sometimes before or even at the beginning of any relationship, sometimes you don't feel the closeness right away. Things may seem awkward, or you're still uneasy/shy around that person. With time, this feeling will go away. It's just a matter of how you spend your time with that person. Being yourself is key. - Puppy Love - After you break out of the casual state, you two will swarm eachother. You guys can't go a day without eachother, you have to call every day and night, and she's all you think about. It's not an obsession, because it's normal for a lot of couples. This is the stage where you kiss in public, hold hands in public, cuddling close with that person around others. Sometimes this stage will never go away, and that's fine. As long as it's not overdone. It's not gross by any means, unless if you start fucking in public, then paparazzi is all over that shit. - Arguments (Small things) - You can say all you want about how you and your partner will never fight, how well you get along, etc., but to be honest....what's a relationship without arguments? A lot of times these days, girls will be the insecure one; the paranoid one. Girls will come up with excuses to fight or make a scene, or they'll question themselves as not being good enough for you. No matter how stupid the issue may be, just talk to her about it. Don't try to push it back to her and make her feel worse. Whatever the problem resides, just talk about it and solve it. Making up is always a great feeling. - Self-Questioning - This evolves from the arguments. You'll come to a stage where one or both of you will question the relationship. Often times the girl will feel unimportant and will get needy. Girls always want more....always need more. A way to handle that....is reassurance. Don't say "But you're everything to me, I would never hurt you." because I'm sure they're heard it from every guy they've talked to or know somebody who's gone through that. The best way to reassure a girl is by your actions. Not simply being there for her physically, but just the small things can make a difference. Give her a hug when you see her, a kiss on the cheek, hold her hand when you talk, you know....some nice gestures. It doesn't have to be money related. Money doesn't buy love. - Acceptance - If you make it through the arguments and self-questioning stages, acceptance is the stage where things do get easier. After the tissy fits, the both of you will realize that some things about eachother can't be changed and if you two are together for quite some time, you know that you can't let a couple small things about a person tear you apart. You start to accept those things and move on. Nobody is perfect. It's just more on how you handle situations. - Commitment/Intimacy - Commitment is something you really have to be ready for. You really need to think to yourself if this is the person you want to be with for a long time to come. Intimacy also comes here because that usually will come later on, as well. It all depends, but the most common place for intimacy is here. After all you went through, fighting, making up, accepting, you really learn to become part of eachother. You grow on one another and can spark some interesting things. The rest is up to fate....commitment will play it's own part once it's put to place. II. Communication If you can't talk to your significant other comfortably, then what the fuck are you doing with her? That pretty much defeats the purpose of what a relationship is. If you don't have communication, you don't have anything. It's important to talk with your other half, about how you feel, your thoughts, and just sharing things with them. If something bothers you, don't hold it in. The longest I'd wait is maybe a day. If you wait a week about something that happened the last week, then they're going to assume that's how you felt the entire week, and it will just create more tension. Sort things out as soon as you can. If you need some time to think, then think. Don't wait or put things off. Holding things in will make you more insecure. On a lighter note, it's great to share feelings with eachother. Even small/random talks are always fun. There is a trick for when you talk to your girl. Don't be all about yourself. Ask the girl how her day went, how she's feeling, ask her all the questions. Girls love the fact that their guy cares and she'll feel that reassurance that you do indeed care. Don't talk about yourself too much. Girls talk about themselves a lot, and I know that seems hypocritical on their part, but.....girl are hypocrites by nature. That's one thing we just have to deal with. III. "We're Just Too Different." Bullshit. There is no such thing. If two people really care enough about one another, then it can work. You both can put effort and make things work. Let me tell you a story here.... So an ex and I talked about our futures and both were totally different. This scared her. She feared we'd grow apart and never make things work. Well the thing is, love conquers all. We did love eachother and we did make things work. Just because we do different things in life, doesn't mean we can share our lives together. I'm not saying a couple has to take the same boat and row on together, but more or less taking separate boats and rowing side by side. We're going the same direction, but in a different boat. And we know that we can always look over and be supportive of eachother. There is no such thing as too different. Section D - Break-Ups I. "Let's Just Be Friends...." If a girl says this, most likely it's a permanent thing. As kind and gentle as these four words sound, they hit you as hard as if she had said "Fuck off." - Personally, I think this is another bullshit line. They either broke up with you because they got scared or they did something wrong. A lot of times these days, the guy's the victim. I'll elaborate. Things could be going so well, in fact amazing. Then the next day she'll dump your ass like you were the weekly trash to be taken out. Girls are bipolar by nature. They could feel one way and then change the next day. Sometimes nothing even happened, it's just how they feel. We'll never know what goes on in their head nor am I afraid of even knowing. Men, if a girl breaks up with us for no reason, then we're better than that. She obviously wasn't the one. We can't melt down because of one girl. Life goes on. Tell yourself this, you've been single before, you can certainly live single again. It's better to have loved than to have never loved at all, as someone once said. Education and work comes first. That's something that will stick with you forever, is education. A bitch will out of nowhere sometimes. II. Cheating Fuck it, man! If a girl cheats on you, it's pretty much a done deal. Once a cheater always a cheater. If you get back with that girl, it's never going to be the same because there's always that possibility again. Plus, if you take her back, she'll think she can get away with it again. Girls are tricky and sly, more so than you think. Personally, a girl that cheats or had a past of cheating is not worth going for. It's not worth the risk and for our feelings to get toyed with. We're better than that. There is a girl for us that will treat us with respect and loyalty....we just have to be patient. Two Types Of Cheating: Physical - They say cheating is only if the person has sex with the other person. Well it's not true. Cheating is described as any form of betrayal and damage done. Physical cheating can even be a simple kiss on the cheek. Emotional - Emotional cheating is actually more common than we think. It's self-explanatory, really. This can occur if your girl flirts with another one, or has deep conversations with another guy that's not you. Like she makes you feel left out in the cold. You should be her go-to guy, and if she has to turn to another guy for her needs, than she's cheating emotionally....and emotions can run haywire and can lead to the physical. It’s emotional cheating if you: * Discuss your partner and relationships with your “friend.” You share your fears, hopes, and dreams (this is emotional intimacy). * Meet your “friend” for dinner or lunch without telling your partner. * Hide or are secretive about your life, relationships, and activities. * Keep your partner waiting while you spend time with your “friend.” * Stay in regular, intimate contact with ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. All in all, whether it's you or the girl who cheated, there's no excuse. Don't pursue a relationship if you think there is that possibility that it will occur. If you feel uneasy about someone, don't go for it unless if you are completely sure. Even that is a hard task to do. Like I said before, it's all about taking risks/chances. Who knows, you may get lucky or get trapped in a ball of pain, but that's life. We almost have to go through it to learn. III. How To Break Up As Painless As Possible. Honesty. The best way to break up with somebody without hurting them is to be honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, but if you lied about it, then it'll make you yourself feel worse and guilty and who needs that. If you're going to cause pain, better do it while you can. This will avoid drama and rumors. If you don't feel a connection anymore, then say it. IV. What If The Girl Breaks Up With You? We're men, we can take it. I know we have a soft side and we may actually cry, and it's okay to cry. But worst comes the worst, we need to be strong. It's not the end of the world. Do something that makes you feel good. Example, play some music, listen to music, hang out with friends, go skateboarding, etc. - Just do things you love to do. If the break-up is really sketchy...like, she didn't want to but did, don't make things easy on the girl. She broke up with you, make her feel the pain if she does want you back. If you take her back right away, she'll think she can break up with you whenever she pleases and can toy with your heart. No man deserves to go through that shit. Make it hard on her. If she's really worth it, she'll work super hard to get back with you. If she doesn't do anything, then she's not shit to you. You deserve better. Section E - Misc. Information I. Honesty Comes First? Nope. You can be honest all you want, but it can never change the truth. Let's say a girl cheated on you, but she was straight forward and told you. Forgiving is stupid. She made that mistake, don't let her off easy or at all. Sure, it seems cool that she was honest about it, but it never changed the fact that she was disloyal and unfaithful to you. To me, loyalty comes first. If you can't be loyal, then honesty has no play in the relationship. I always said "A person can be honest all they want, but why should we respect those who are unfaithful to us?" II. Girls And Their Manipulative Minds Girls are controlling by nature, as I said before. They will do anything to make us feel like we're wrong, even if we didn't do anything wrong. We have to be careful, because girls can fuck with our minds so much that they'll get anything that they damn well please. Don't let them do that....if you feel you're losing yourself in the mix, then fuck....let her know. Tell her she's being controlling. And don't be a chickenshit about it either. Our pride and self-respect should come first before a girl. Girls are tricky, kids. If you let the girl get everything she wants, then it'll make it harder to stop her in the future. Ever get those housewives in a restaurant who has special requests and the husband does nothing about it? Do you really want your wife to be like that? Fuck no.....tell that bitch what's up. Once you're married, it's too late to change that. Take action while you can. A good girl will respect what you have to say, even if it makes her angry. But she'll consider what you said. III. Key Tips Pick-up Lines Rarely Work - If you think Google-ing pick-up lines will get you a girl, you're sadly mistaken. You need to be pure to yourself. Pick-up lines are for fun, not when it comes to seriousness such as trying to get with a girl. It just doesn't work. Male Ego - Don't get carried away. The more we talk, the more turned off a girl gets. Only say so much, and let the girl wonder and ask YOU questions. For now, ask her questions and let her tell you about herself. It will show that you're for real and that you do care about what she has to say. Girls really dig that. The "Ray Charles" Handshake - It works. If you meet a girl for the first time, it's okay to shake their hand. If you've ever seen "Ray" on DVD or in theatres, you may notice that whenever he meets a girl, he holds her hand like he's shaking it, and then uses his other to grasp the girls wrist. This is how he could tell if a woman was attractive or not (being that he was blind). It can work without being blind. I learned that when shaking a girl's hand, by gently touching the top part or the wrist of her hand, it will give a more personal touch. As you shake her hand, look at her straight in the eyes with a smile. It will show her that you are indeed glad to meet her and that will make her feel ten times better about it. Give it a try sometime! Being Yourself - Many young people say that it doesn't work, but you know what? It does. Many people change themselves for their partner, but why? If she liked you for who you were, then why are you changing? Why is she telling you to change? Ask her that sometime....make her think about what's she's doing. You shouldn't have to change for anybody whatsoever. Stay true to who you are. Confidence - Chicks DO dig confidence. Just don't get overly confident to the point where it's arrogance. Arrogance is a turn-off. It's like a girl being all about herself and stuck-up over herself....I mean I doubt we enjoy being around that. Same thing. Self-Esteem - Whether you have low or high self-esteem, don't be negative. Negativity usually will push a girl away. Don't try to act like you're nothing special if they say you are, just let them think that. Girls like a guy who's happy with himself, because if you can't be happy with yourself, then you can't be happy with anybody else. Although be careful, people with high self-esteem can 'easily' get carried away, again....arrogance can come into play. It's okay to be modest and humble now and then, but if you feel the need to brag, just don't do it. Girls don't want a guy who's all into himself. Same way the other way around. We have to be all ABOUT ourselves, but INTO ourselves is totally different....tricky. Don't Talk About Your Ex(es) - This goes for both. Shy away from talking about an ex, or anything involving an ex. This will make the person feel less special because you still talk about someone you 'were' with, and will feel like you're not over that person. She will feel like she's not good enough and that she will never be better than your previous love. Trust me, it sucks both ways when a person talks about their ex when they're with you. Discomfort sinks in. Talking about an ex in most cases, will cause your partner to drift away. Jealousy, anger, sadness, etc. are just some of the feelings that he/she may feel, or a mixture. Don't cause that pain to the one you love. If you really love her, then it's all about her....if you're still talking about an ex, then you don't love her the way you say you do....at least not, yet. Let the ex-talk ease and then pursue. Any other questions or advice you need, feel free to post in here. Any suggestions to what I should add, feel free to let me know, also. Thanks! Hope this helps! Last edited by ryce; 06-25-2007 at 07:41 PM.. |
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#2 |
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Send it out to sea
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Thank you, maybe this will end the girl help threads.
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#3 |
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Respected User
Focus: Music Buff
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: MI
Posts: 2,343
Props: 1
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yeah, nice job.
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#4 |
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Member
Focus: Ledge Lover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Outside of Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 10,971
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wow thats really long
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#5 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 171
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good God what a guide
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#6 |
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Dis'Respected User
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,621
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I love you man.The guide to my life
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#7 |
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I'M SOOOO HIGH
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ok i like this girl but i dont know if she likes me. shes giving me signs in public but when i try to call her or talk to her online she doesnt talk to me im doing most of the talking. what do i do.
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#8 |
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Retired Staff
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Alright, this is simple. Either she's really shy, or she has no interest. Girls like to put up a front. Instead of doing the "talking".....ask her questions. This may get her to talk more. Maybe she's just playing hard to get, also. Just be patient with it. Girls are really tricky.
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#9 | |
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The Space Cowboy
Focus: Just Chillin'
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,986
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Quote:
Whenever I try to talk to a girl I like, I always seem to initiate the conversation. Whether it's a text, myspace message, AIM, or talking in real life, I always have to talk to her first. After we get talking she keeps talking but I am worried I bother her by messaging/texting/talking to her too much. |
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#10 |
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Member
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i wonder if this is more effective than slapdown's..
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#11 |
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The Space Cowboy
Focus: Just Chillin'
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,986
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Yeah I was gonna say he should give a link to slapdowns thread in the "Pick up" part.
I also think this is much more different than slap's. Slapdown's was more about just the pickup. This goes into detail talkinga bout the whole relationship. |
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#12 | |
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Banned
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Ryce I love your guides I remember the one that started them all, the party guide!
Quote:
Nice guide lots of truth to it. |
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#13 | |
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Retired Staff
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Quote:
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#14 |
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Member
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^ I feel the same way sometimes. I would probably guess that as long as you don't do it ever 2 minutes you ight....
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#15 |
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Member
Focus: Ledge Lover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Outside of Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 10,971
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okay so im reading this now while eating my fish and chips
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#16 |
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Member
Focus: Ledge Lover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Outside of Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 10,971
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okay so I'm done reading this now and you're genius
You should have your own tv show called Dr. Ryce |
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#17 |
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SUCKLEMYTEET
Focus: All Rounder
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Buffalo,New York
Posts: 8,215
Props: 40
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damn
nice job |
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#18 |
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Member
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Ok its a good guide, but if anybody needs a guide to getting a fucking girlfriend ur fucked in the head.
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#19 |
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Banned
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Oh the threads and stories you missed how can you be a 06 member and not seen all the girl help threads members have made.
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#20 |
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Retired Staff
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That's why it's a general guide, genius.
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#21 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 103
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you got too much time on your hands dunny.
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#22 |
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Member
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Yeah ive seen them, and i understand why he made this guide, so all these fucking 12 year old kids will stop crying over there girlfriends breaking up with them.
Seriously, people making girl threads need to grow the fuck up and get on with life instead of comming on the internet and asking people why a girl wont speak to them. Rant over. EDIT: Im not paying out on you ryce im just venting some anger over all the little faggots who cant handle a girl. Last edited by doobbz; 06-23-2007 at 09:52 PM.. |
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#23 | |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 103
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Quote:
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#24 |
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Member
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Yeah, no hate La Peace i agree with you. Props to ryce for hopefully ending the flood of girl threads <3
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#25 |
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Retired Staff
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Actually, this guide didn't take me more than an hour to make. It's just my knowledge, sharing it with people, and ending girl help threads. I'm not annoyed by them, but I also do feel for some people because I've been through a shit ton and I can relate to a lot of scenarios.
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