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  1. #1
    CCCP's Avatar
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    Default They terk muh jerb need advice: job search tips for n00bs

    I've been applying to a shit ton of places and nobody wants me. I applied to the gym twice and got rejected twice. Applied to the library and got rejected. Applied to Walmart and got rejected. Applied to whole foods twice and got rejected twice. Applied to safeway and got rejected. Applied to 3 surf shops and got rejected at all of them. Applied to McDonalds and got rejected. Applied to Burger King twice and I don't know what the fuck is going on. Most of the times, they don't even call me back. The ones that do call me back for an interview was the library, gym, and whole foods. They all rejected me. Why the fuck is it so hard to get a job? I need some help.


    SHAMPOO EDIT:

    CCCP IS SCREWED, BUT THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR OTHERS!

    HERE ARE SB-C TIPS FOR NOOBS THAT NEED JOBS


    1. Create a basic 1-page resume (don’t go over a page, you’re not that important yet!).

    Free templates are available online. Consider crafting a 1-sentence objective statement to define what job experience(s) you are seeking and why you’re ready/a potential fit. At minimum your resume should include your full legal name, phone & email, home address, education (include in progress if you are completing high school or enrolled in college courses). List any meaningful prior work, major projects, and volunteer experience. List strengths and skills, including any word processing or other software you can use proficiently (e.g., MS Word, MS Excel, etc.).

    2. Have at least 2-3 references in mind. Need phone, email, and address for each one.

    Get their permission in advance. You don’t want someone ignoring the employer’s attempt to contact. Worse, you don’t want someone to give a bad reference. Don’t put someone on the spot that doesn’t know you well enough. Parents and relatives don’t count, unless you worked for some crazy uncle with a different last name who hates you but will vouch that you did good work. For examples of good leads—teachers, coaches, and past bosses (if you have any) are good references.

    3. Apply in person whenever possible.

    Bring a few copies of the resume. Dress nice (button up shirt tucked in, belt, clean shoes, showered if I really have to say that). Ask if there is a hiring manager you can speak to. Many hires happen spontaneously this way. If a manager is not available ask for an application. Fill it out immediately and turn it in before leaving. The resume helps you to be prepared with an on-the-spot interview, or at least filling out the application quickly. Oh yeah, make sure you have ID on you and memorize your social security number in advance.

    4. Apply online when necessary and in your free time outside normal business hours.

    I did say to apply in person when possible, but when paper applications are used there may be extra work for HR staff. Fill the application out online in advance, if you can. Just be sure to stop by the place in person if you have time/really care about the job/or it’s a place that posts open hours for hiring (if they do they are literally telling you to save everyone time and just show up).

    5. Follow-up!

    If you applied in person but were not immediately hired, follow-up with a phone call a week later. If you applied online, look the company up and call a week from your application. Give the company time to sort things out. They are busy, and they may be reviewing other applicants. If someone said they would contact you by X date, however, and that date passes, then go ahead and call the very next day politely.

    6. Don’t follow-up again unless absolutely necessary!

    Like I said, these are busy people. Hounding them won’t help. It’s only appropriate to follow-up again when someone promises you feedback and fails to give it on time. If you don’t hear back after the first attempt, usually you should let it go. It’s acceptable to try again in 1-2 months in case there are new openings or the job still isn’t filled.

    7. Be prepared to formally interview.

    Interviewing is another story. Dress for success (but don’t go overboard and wear a suit to an interview to cook fries).

    Quick tips to wrap this up: show up AT LEAST 10 mins early for the scheduled interview. Make eye contact, smile, and greet everyone politely that you encounter in the business. Shake hands firmly with your interviewer, standing up, before taking a seat. Hand a copy of your resume over. Have a separate document with list of references available. Remember to breathe, and answer questions truthfully to the best of your ability—but always highlight positives. Don’t start blabbing about weaknesses. If the interviewer asks, turn negatives into positives (I’m working on a,b,c...I use my strengths to make up for x,y,z).

    BE READY TO ANSWER SOME GENERIC QUESTIONS!

    Interviewers love to ask cliche garbage like, “Do you work well in teams?”. They may ask you to tell some stories about dealing with customers, dealing with coworkers or team members, being pressured to break rules and how you managed, etc. Definitely be prepared to describe your future goals (work, career interests, college plans, any dreams). You can look up common interview questions online.

    ASK QUESTIONS! What are the hours, advancement opportunities, “what is the team like?”, etc. Be sure the job will work for you. An interview works both ways, and the right level of confidence may even demonstrate your leadership potential.

    When it’s over, stand up and shake hands again. Thank the person for the time and opportunity to interview. If they didn’t say already, ask when you can expect to hear more about the job.

    8. If the interview goes well and references were required, remind your people that they may be contacted.

    9. Final tips: make your social media accounts private so that companies don’t see dumb shit you don’t want them seeing! And do your research on the job in advance—the better the job and more important the opportunity is to you, the more you should study the company and role in advance!
    Last edited by shampoo; 08-30-2018 at 11:10 AM.

  2. #2
    Fudopi's Avatar
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    call them

  3. #3
    CCCP's Avatar
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    Yeah I called back Burger King. Asked to speak to the manager. Basically I asked the manager what happened to the application that I sent in a while ago. The lady said that she doesn't have my application. So I go down to Burger King maybe an hour or two later and fill out another application. After that, I asked to speak to the manager in person this time and spoke to them that time. It was a dude that time because I think the lady might have finished her shift or something. So he went to look for the application that I turned in a while ago and found it too so the lady on the phone earlier might have been trippin. So now Burger King got 2 of my applications. He said that he'll call the lady later and let her know to call me.

  4. #4
    bubbleboy's Avatar
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    Look on Craigslist, start doing odd jobs for cash

  5. #5
    shampoo's Avatar
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    Stop shitting in the ocean, it’s staining your reputation. And the ocean.

  6. #6

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    Apply with an ocean cleanup crew. When they ask why they should hire you just tell em you already know some dirty spots

  7. #7
    SIK's Avatar
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    damn that's a lot of rejection.

  8. #8
    Stookie's Avatar
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    **** yourself
    Last edited by shampoo; 07-17-2018 at 06:35 PM. Reason: To soften the blow
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddig View Post
    decide it - go for it - live it - just do it - fake it to you make it - if you can dream it, you can do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddig View Post

    Skate, do strength training, eat healthy things, keep yuor mind healthy, open and clean, (don't fill it with bad news)
    Let the young people inspire you...
    / Henning
    Quote Originally Posted by CCCP View Post
    I want to enter college looking sexy as fuck for the ladies.

  9. #9
    CCCP's Avatar
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    I post here looking for some advice and I get you crossaints telling me to **** myself. And yeah SIK that is an ocean-shit ton of rejection. Why the balls can all my friends get ballsing jobs and I can't even get a call back from the jobs? I actually have a US citizenship and one of my friends has a green card. What kinda ocean-shit is this? The McDonalds will hire other people like me with special needs, but they won't even hire me. I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. I actually need help.
    Last edited by shampoo; 07-17-2018 at 06:39 PM. Reason: Watch the language

  10. #10
    Trollskater's Avatar
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    If it makes you feel any better, I have a high paying job as a skipper this summer and often get $40-$100 tips

  11. #11
    shampoo's Avatar
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    Probably shouldn’t write your resume up with crayon. That might help.

  12. #12
    CCCP's Avatar
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    I just had to fill out an application form for most of the jobs. The ones that did ask for a resume was the gym, library, and maybe Whole Foods. I forgot.

  13. #13
    WhiteTrash's Avatar
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    LOL at all this

  14. #14
    shampoo's Avatar
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    You won’t get a job that asks for a resume, if you don’t have a resume. If the resume is optional, someone else with a resume is probably going to get it. If you have no real job experience, then keep applying everywhere, submit the resume, follow-up, and don’t give up. You should also be open to volunteering, while you have free time. Volunteering builds some experience, which is important if you have zero work experience. Volunteering also helps with networking (you might find another weirdo willing to take your virginity, even) and may lead to a paid opportunity. If you haven’t been looking more than a month yet, don’t stress. I know you have no social skills or common sense, so this is gonna take a while. Don’t quit school.

  15. #15
    Stookie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stookie View Post
    **** yourself
    bring back 05-09 flame-style SBC I say
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddig View Post
    decide it - go for it - live it - just do it - fake it to you make it - if you can dream it, you can do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddig View Post

    Skate, do strength training, eat healthy things, keep yuor mind healthy, open and clean, (don't fill it with bad news)
    Let the young people inspire you...
    / Henning
    Quote Originally Posted by CCCP View Post
    I want to enter college looking sexy as fuck for the ladies.

  16. #16
    CCCP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shampoo View Post
    You won’t get a job that asks for a resume, if you don’t have a resume. If the resume is optional, someone else with a resume is probably going to get it. If you have no real job experience, then keep applying everywhere, submit the resume, follow-up, and don’t give up. You should also be open to volunteering, while you have free time. Volunteering builds some experience, which is important if you have zero work experience. Volunteering also helps with networking (you might find another weirdo willing to take your virginity, even) and may lead to a paid opportunity. If you haven’t been looking more than a month yet, don’t stress. I know you have no social skills or common sense, so this is gonna take a while. Don’t quit school.
    My friends that got hired by McDonalds and Burger King did not have to turn in a resume. All they had to do was to fill out the application and they were pretty much hired on the spot.

  17. #17
    Brokenhope's Avatar
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    I havent seen this level of rejection since I tried to get a girlfriend lol.

    Oh and i got a job first try at hyvee, 28 years old with 1 job in the past and a 7 year gap on my resume lol.

  18. #18
    Brokenhope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CCCP View Post
    My friends that got hired by McDonalds and Burger King did not have to turn in a resume. All they had to do was to fill out the application and they were pretty much hired on the spot.
    yeah i pretty much got hired on the spot at hyvee too lol.

    maybe they are discriminating against fleas :V

  19. #19
    Brokenhope's Avatar
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    oh but I did have a resume, they do love that... just make a simple one, get a template off google docs just say where you went to school and your gpa and stuff like that... mine was very empty.

  20. #20
    SIK's Avatar
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    Wear a wig and makeup and threaten to sue for discrimination if they don't hire you. I don't see you finding a job any other way.

  21. #21
    shampoo's Avatar
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    Wig, makeup, and apply at the local tranny nightclub.

  22. #22
    shampoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stookie View Post
    bring back 05-09 flame-style SBC I say
    **** yourself = love yourself

  23. #23
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    They are all right. Most of the time companies do not even look at the resumes you submit, but they still like to see that you submitted one. When I first started trying to look for a job I couldn't get one, so I volunteered at 2 places(Humane Society and Planetarium). After volunteering there got my first job, moved up to management and left to go and work 4 more jobs. I just got fired from my most current job and already drawing interest at a place I would of quit for it anyway. Just keep applying and make a god damn resume it does effect most jobs.

    Anime-Planet.com - anime | manga | reviews

  24. #24
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    Walmart supervisor here, you really suck if you cant get hired there. We hire constantly. Felons, minors, etc. Loser.

  25. #25
    Stookie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shampoo View Post
    **** yourself = love yourself
    sage advice
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddig View Post
    decide it - go for it - live it - just do it - fake it to you make it - if you can dream it, you can do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddig View Post

    Skate, do strength training, eat healthy things, keep yuor mind healthy, open and clean, (don't fill it with bad news)
    Let the young people inspire you...
    / Henning
    Quote Originally Posted by CCCP View Post
    I want to enter college looking sexy as fuck for the ladies.

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