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View Full Version : I am the king of shutting women up!


Slapdown
10-18-2006, 03:29 AM
This is a blog written by my friend Rachel. (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=44084769&blogID=92025551&MyToken=ce500c5a-f4e4-4271-b56f-9b10d8813d32)

It basically outlines all things men should do for women in the bedroom. It's a bunch of whiney, PMS fueled bullshit. It is not important you read it, but you can if you want.

The important thing is that you read my reply at the bottom of the page. It's a list of 10 "Male Rules" that all women should abide by before we men listen to their rules.

I was actually cracking up while writing it, no doubt you'll enjoy it too.

drizzle
10-18-2006, 03:51 AM
ha, a few of those made me laugh.


Edit: forgot to read your comment. you're such a gentleman.

WTFBBQSAUCE?!
10-18-2006, 03:55 AM
Hahahaha, nice.

shiny_nickel
10-18-2006, 04:02 AM
That. Was good. xD

Z3R0_SK8R_182
10-18-2006, 04:31 AM
you set her straight alright

flipuk
10-18-2006, 04:52 AM
i liked the end message the best

I always use something similar to my mate but she does buy clothes/shoes often

I Have A hole In My Boxer
10-18-2006, 05:30 AM
You are my fucking king :-|

EDIT: 666th post :D

flipuk
10-18-2006, 05:59 AM
You are my fucking king :-|

EDIT: 666th post :D

111 less than perfection

drowning_fish
10-18-2006, 06:17 AM
Ahahaha that was hilarious... It seems sad that this site is what I do right before schooltime...

Valo Negroth
10-18-2006, 06:21 AM
That was brillant man. Wish I could get women to shut the hell up but the words never come out right.

Popwar Pill
10-18-2006, 06:34 AM
I truely love you.

shampoo
10-18-2006, 09:05 AM
"9. After point 8, no, I am not interested in your day. Your girlfriends are. Please use the phone. That's what it was made for. But you can only talk for 15 minutes, since I am undoubtedly paying the bill.

10. Girls say they can multitask. Therefore, if you want to tell me about your day, you have to be sucking my dick as you do it. If you leave any bite marks, we'll wait til I cum, reload, and then you must redo the task. From the moment bite marks are left, you must stop talking about your day. You can resume on the second attempt."

Gold. Should be the new Golden Rule, even during school. Girls talk about the dumbest ***** if they're going to kill my ears, then make up for ti "somewhere else". Righto.

turtleboy13
10-18-2006, 09:13 AM
Thats awesome. I love how they have to "redo the task" if failed.

And the Tears Will Fall
10-18-2006, 09:17 AM
post it on here without a link

Crispy
10-18-2006, 12:04 PM
I speak on the behalf of all men when I make the following statement:

"We will adhere to your demands when the following of our demands have been met:

1. All my shirts are washed.

2. All of the aforementioned shirts are ironed and pressed.

3. All the dishes are done, by hand, regardless of whether a dishwasher is in the vicinity.

4. All washed clothes are hung up as SOON as they come out of the tub.

5. Washing machines are NOT to be permitted for my clothes. I prefer a woman to sweat as she works. See point 3.

6. All of my clothes must be laid out for me in the morning, in a logical order, so that I can put them on efficiently.

7. All food must be fresh, hot and on time. I will be sitting at the table at 8 a.m. for breakfast and 6 p.m for dinner. You are allowed a 30 second margin of error. Failing this time zone, you will remake whatever breakfast/dinner it was, but with more love.

8. When you ask about my day, I will either:
a) Tell you in full because I have nothing better to do
OR
b) Tell you in short because there is something on TV I want to watch
OR
c) Grunt a response because the football is on

All of the aforementioned responses are acceptable, and no elaboration should be required.

9. After point 8, no, I am not interested in your day. Your girlfriends are. Please use the phone. That's what it was made for. But you can only talk for 15 minutes, since I am undoubtedly paying the bill.

10. Girls say they can multitask. Therefore, if you want to tell me about your day, you have to be sucking my dick as you do it. If you leave any bite marks, we'll wait til I cum, reload, and then you must redo the task. From the moment bite marks are left, you must stop talking about your day. You can resume on the second attempt."

These are the male rules. If you want your 41 obeyed, you can meet the demands of my ten. If anything, you are getting a 4 times better deal. And what woman has ever turned down a bargain that good. That's like getting clothes for 25% of the RRP!

If you feel these are unfair, please complain while reffering to points 9 and 10 of the male rules.

Kind regards,
Andy Dutton
Spokesperson for the Male Rights Association

Hahahahaha, number 6 is hilarious.

Zeroskater11
10-18-2006, 12:14 PM
That was great, I was cracking upwhile reading every one. Imgine if it were all true? I would love life.

theskate
10-18-2006, 12:25 PM
Brits are rather funny.

MaC-
10-18-2006, 12:27 PM
<3

Slapdown
10-18-2006, 05:01 PM
More comments please.

bandikid
10-18-2006, 05:02 PM
haha....?

::ninja::
10-18-2006, 05:04 PM
Lmfao gold.

Valo Negroth
10-18-2006, 05:06 PM
post it on here without a link

you that much of a putz? You click the thread title and its right at the top! The time it took to type that the page could have already loaded. I predict that you become over weight from being to lazy to do anything.

ruckus.
10-18-2006, 05:33 PM
Her list thing was absolutely retarded. Yours made me giggle. Nice job, kudos.

Popwar Pill
10-18-2006, 05:34 PM
Seriously though....what the hell...sex is going to be trial and error. It's not like we all know how to please each other right out of the chute....and it's all about communication.

dain84
10-18-2006, 06:16 PM
She didn't write that, she copied it from a bulletin. Good job though!

notaskateaholic
10-18-2006, 06:26 PM
Haha I was laughing while I was reading that hahaha, I liked how no machines can be used hahaa

Valo Negroth
10-18-2006, 06:42 PM
Yeah I found this and it fits perfectly
http://home.planetcomm.net/ltaylor/pics/thisiswhat.gif

emericaxskater
10-18-2006, 07:59 PM
Haha.

"Wait to reload"

I loved that

Dying_To_Live
10-18-2006, 10:44 PM
nice job buddy.

fat_poser
10-18-2006, 10:58 PM
What a whiny cunt. If I ever got her pants off, I would punch her in the fucking box and tell her to make that rule 42.

And the Tears Will Fall
10-19-2006, 08:47 AM
you that much of a putz? You click the thread title and its right at the top! The time it took to type that the page could have already loaded. I predict that you become over weight from being to lazy to do anything.


asshole i get online at school and myspace is blocked...stop being a dick

shifta
10-19-2006, 11:36 AM
Haha, classic. Shame she didn't reply though...

LakewoodOG
10-19-2006, 11:45 AM
Haha, classic. Shame she didn't reply though...

of course she didnt respond, the bitch got owned, gj slap

SkaSkate
10-19-2006, 11:48 AM
All of that made perfect sense, braking most of these rules must mean one's had a bad childhood expirience or is just plain stupid

element_skater497
12-03-2006, 05:12 AM
Hahahahahaha that was so funny.

brenz-brenz
12-03-2006, 05:24 AM
Did she ever reply?

sk8 mystery
12-03-2006, 07:12 AM
Yeah I found this and it fits perfectly
http://home.planetcomm.net/ltaylor/pics/thisiswhat.gif

that is fucking funny ni_gger dope right there!! :)

Nesta.
12-03-2006, 07:13 AM
Seriously though....what the hell...sex is going to be trial and error. It's not like we all know how to please each other right out of the chute....and it's all about communication.

Exactly, though i found it quite funny.

ispitfire
12-03-2006, 07:25 AM
hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahaha

Deathklaat
12-03-2006, 07:32 AM
haha that was awesome

V3
12-03-2006, 07:43 AM
wow, i cant remember when i laughed so hard.

Marevix
12-03-2006, 08:02 AM
The amusement factor is through the roof on this one, Slappums. I would use it myself with some annotations.

Hairy Johnson
12-03-2006, 08:24 AM
Lol. I love how its regardless if theres a dish washer. You should have put to make her wipe your ass after you have diahreaha or something like that.

zachnelson24
12-03-2006, 09:13 AM
good job slap... that was hilarious

drowning_fish
12-03-2006, 09:15 AM
The amusement factor is through the roof on this one, Slappums. I would use it myself with some annotations.

Why do you have to overcomplicate everything? That same thing could have been said like this

"That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen from you Slap."

Marevix
12-03-2006, 09:36 AM
Why do you have to overcomplicate everything? That same thing could have been said like this

"That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen from you Slap."

Because that isn't what I meant. I didn't laugh in the slightest, not even a chuckle. I was, however, thoroughly amused. I decided to replace "changes" with "annotations", because I don't feel a need to dumb my statements down (and, as a result, minutely distorting them) for those less intent on learning their vocabulary.

GottaHaveStyle
12-03-2006, 09:42 AM
oldthreadsLOVE

Hairy Johnson
12-03-2006, 10:05 AM
Slapdown is the english Fonzi.

Slapdown
12-03-2006, 10:06 AM
Slapdown is the english Fonzi.

Fonz learnt cool from Slapdown.

drowning_fish
12-03-2006, 10:07 AM
Because that isn't what I meant. I didn't laugh in the slightest, not even a chuckle. I was, however, thoroughly amused. I decided to replace "changes" with "annotations", because I don't feel a need to dumb my statements down (and, as a result, minutely distorting them) for those less intent on learning their vocabulary.

Ay, works for me.

Hairy Johnson
12-03-2006, 10:08 AM
Fonz learnt cool from Slapdown.

Fonz is the American Slapdown.

drowning_fish
12-03-2006, 10:10 AM
Fonz is the American Slapdown.

...I don't think Slap starred in a sitcom

Hairy Johnson
12-03-2006, 10:10 AM
...I don't think Slap starred in a sitcom

Yeah, I think he did.

RUFNcereal
12-03-2006, 10:11 PM
I think i learned some new things today.

PuNk SkAtEr
12-04-2006, 12:32 AM
dude thats funny i was laughing like the hole way through reading them

xxdead_dollxx
12-04-2006, 03:34 AM
Hahah that was great man, that just made my day a whole lot better.

KickFlip65
12-04-2006, 09:56 AM
I can honestly say I " lol'd" at a few of those