View Full Version : The definition of emo (funny)

03-11-2006, 08:59 AM
taken from encyclopedia dramatica Although it is often mistaken as being short for "emotional," emo was originally the abbreviation for a type of music known as "emotive hardcore". Emo music performances were extremely dramatic, typicalling including lead singers falling to their knees and screaming or crying. Because traditional hardcore contained a lot less whining and a lot more beating people up, "emo" soon became a taunting nickname used by punkers to insult other, more sensitive members of the hardcore scene. The "emotive" part of emotive hardcore is that it attempts to authentically convey raw human emotion. However, this musical movement died at least 100 years ago and actual emotive hardcore music has since taken a backseat to scenester posturing and no-talent losers in eyeliner. Presently, "emo" is code for "goddamn shitty pop punk music played by and for depressed suburban teens". It's all that Dashboard Confessional, My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, and Fall Out Boy your retarded girlfriend listens to. This "music" is noted for it's complete lack of musical merit. It is also rumored that "emo" is the only music solely created by fetuses aborted due to advanced retardation. Only assholes listen to this stuff. It is common knowledge that emo is only for middle-class white people, who have more problems than everyone else on the earth combined. These singers are dealing with feelings of rejection. Other typical expressions include sadness, rage, regret and jealousy. Sometimes it can even result in suicide. The current incarnation of emo has basically replaced all other teenage culture as the dominant one. The slightly faded "vintage" clothing and track suits are available at any mall and often displayed in tandem with the most mainstream wares. Because the accoutrements and garb are very easy and cheap to obtain, it makes the style accessible to anyone. In earlier times emo was a generally male-dominated subculture with very few females observed at shows and events. Now, however, due to the ease of obtainment of the requisite style items, many females have become involved in the subculture. Please see photo for an illustration of a typical specimen. There may be no easily discernible differences between the standard teenager and someone involved in the emo scene. The time is coming when we will have to make a decision that will either save us or kill our children. That decision somehow involves this hat. Enlarge The time is coming when we will have to make a decision that will either save us or kill our children. That decision somehow involves this hat. Often participants are referred to as "emo kids", just "kids" or "emofags" or any combination of the three. Rednecks often refer to the participants simply as "wrist-cuttin' hippies". Normal people often say that "Emo" is short for "stupid self-absorbed attention whore who listens to bad music". I call them "walking failures at life". Chances are that if you think you're emo, you're really either gay, a fucktard, or some combination of the two. Followers of the emo cult are menaces to society, and should be shot on sight. However, shooting emo kids on sight is rarely needed, for a proper verbal rape will lead them to commit suicide (but not before posting about it on the internets). Thus, a conclusion is drawn that IRL trolling of emo kids leads to IRL lulz. Emo has had a long history in many forms, from the early Beatniks (named after the constant beatings they would receive) to today's contemporary emo kids:

In the: emos were: drug of choice:
30's Everybody Hooch, Roadkill
40's Nazis Hitler, little boys
50's Beatniks Poetry, Bongo Drums
60's Hippies Pot, Acid
70's Disco Cocaine
80's New Romantics Ecstasy, anal sex
90's Grunge Heroin, Flannel, Starbucks Coffee
00's Emo Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Nyquil, Morrissey, anal sex
10's Young Republicans Alcohol, Ann Coulter
20's Dead Republicans Cyanide, Hydrogen Bombs

dutch madman
03-11-2006, 09:08 AM
i didn't read a damn thing

03-11-2006, 09:16 AM
I read the whole thing
I agree 90%
But some people that Actually have problems and are emo are ok
Whoever got the idea of slitting your wrists makes you feel better needs to Die

go team ramrod
03-11-2006, 09:17 AM
dude hippies werent emo

03-11-2006, 09:24 AM
dude hippies werent emo
It's not saying that.

You see, emo is a slang word for "trendy." All those things in that section were trends of the time.

03-11-2006, 09:37 AM
I want to know who thought slitting your wrists would make you feel better.

03-11-2006, 09:42 AM
I want to know who thought slitting your wrists would make you feel better.

That's not an emo thing. That goes way back into biblical times.

03-11-2006, 11:46 AM
haha, way to long. i didn't even read it

03-11-2006, 11:48 AM
Damn you fuckers are lazy. Just read the whole thing, it's good.

03-11-2006, 11:54 AM
Yes it is good
Yes i know that it didnt start with emos but most people associate the two.

03-11-2006, 04:26 PM
That was mildly entertaining.

Complete lack of musical merit my ass though.